My Past

Ever since I've stepped into my secondary school days....

Sec 1, I was a very quiet and represent my class for a story-telling competition appointed by my teacher and came in 2nd, lost to a express class. yea yea... won't elaborate more on that. Not to mention, good grades.

Sec 2, I am also still very quiet, good grades follows and was appointed as the junior counsillor. Nothing much to say except for throwing a chair at a friend for daring me to shut him and he did. Also shouting to shut the fucking class up when order needs to be imposed. I stood up for Xiaohui as she was bullied by this guy whom I dun really remember his face and name.

Sec 3 was the turn for me. Joined with a wrong group of friend, yet I feel they are the right group still. You will know what I mean when i proceed on. I smoke, I fight, i bully, I fell in love. The fell in love part was really what stood out. Started dating... and dating and dating and slowly branded as a "flirt"

Sec 4 was the N level part when I... ahem cheated with Jingtai for the Geography paper. got a poor 7, more than I expected but I still moved on to sec 5. During my sec 4, of course I still dated and dated.

Sec 5 was another dating and dating trip. Well, this is the year that is not funny at all. Friends suddenly started to turn their back from me after being so long as friends since sec 3 and believe words from god knows. None ever ask me or rectify with me the truth and I also don't feel the need to explain. I slowly moved towards depression just before O levels. Imagine so lonely awaiting for the exam to commence outside the examination hall where a group are hanging together which is the whole class. I am so disappointed and none asked me on what is the truth behind rumors.

After my O levels, these friends slowly came back to me and I think things were explained by others or the one that spread it. Playing basketball everyday awaiting for my results. Continued the friendship till poly and I did not realize that my depression was drag along too.

During my year 2 of poly, I brought along my then gf to a basketball game with my sec school friends. On the eve of the dramatic relationship, my then gf showed me the msg and it showed my so-call Brother or best friend in my sec grp was msging her sweet msges and morning msges. So furious and realized the truth I decided to break off entire friendship with the whole group and this is why I say i met better friends in sec 3.

Also in my life before poly, I need a friend to talk and stupid enough to think those sec friends are always there as they said. They seems to drift from me saying I am crazy and very "emo". If they ever visit my blog, I would like to say FUCK YOU. You guys don't know how hard to move passed the depression period. Thanks to my poly friends and poly life, that's a change and a turn. Every friends enjoyed my company.

I've ever thought that I was the one at fault and I am a bad friend when I was with the secondary school mates and days. But it turns out I was wrong. It turns out that I was wrong as my poly life proofed it. I can't be thankful enough for my poly days and my poly friends. I need to emphasize that. Thanks a lot for giving me the chance to meet Kokheng, Edwin, Desmond, Michelle, Joshua, Wanlin, Jieyun, Evelyn, Zhixiang, Bing Qiang and Banana. Any that I failed to mention, sorry. I have to let this out before the arrival of 2009. Even though I know my hatred will be brought forward, I just hope it will decrease in the incoming year.