I am MUTE

I couldn't say much anymore. I couldn't stand up for myself anymore. My fight for myself have stopped. My will to speak my mind have clot. I am might as well as mute. Seeing people doing things and climbing over my head, I don't like it. What can I do? If i can be like what I used to be, firm, fearless, fairness. Why am I so friendly to all? Why can't I be what I am train to be? These are the thoughts of mine everyday I go to work. Why can't I even amend what the organization is losing. 1 person i know its hard, but can I do it? Can I change the thing happening around me? I really cannot take it when there is no discipline and respect. I know most people may say just fuck it and why care about it so much, but I just can't as I am not supposed to and work and go through so much hardship. Its too easy to give up. If I am like this, how can I be what I wanna be in the future. and so..

I've finally decided to face me. He tells me my mind and heart:
1) Be Friendly.
2) Be Helpful.
3) Be Quiet when its not my problem.
4) Stay out of others business and just do mine.

Is it really the true side of me? I have no choice but to turn to the past Weihong.
1) Hatred.
2) Rage.
3) Unfriendly

He nor I am still wrong. Will I ever find a balance in whatever I am in? I'll try... Bullshit I guess. Its just rubbish when one tells me that and even I hear it I will also think I am bullshitting. I guess its time to stand up and be unfriendly to those whom our path will never in this life cross as I am born to be a, COMMANDER.