tiredd of life

Since young at 16yrs old, I got my first job as a sales assistant, then i moved on to help my friend distributing dummy phones to handphone shop around the country, then i went on to D & D as a salesman, then to a factory making handphone parts and then i went to my auntie's shop to be a delivery man, then Singtel hello shop, then to a factory and now in a f up organization.

Since 16, I've seen different kind of people through sales and also in factories populated with people of different race, culture and nationality. I know its not enough as compared to some other working cows, but its enough for me as for the time that I've worked, it already compiled them into my eyes and memories and have the gist of what kind of people there are in this world. It lets me think of myself and reminds myself of helping people around, listen to their problems, care for them. No one can really tells me that they are mature enough than i can say to them. I added immature to make my life so as not to appear dull and let people feel comfortable to be with but my life is finally tired and even though I'm still young, I've been through a lot as compared to most.

In the f up organization, my colleagues and I were working so hard and through nights when heartbeats were slowing down and snores could be heard. Remember the nights we went through, who were paid so little yet we toll and get scolding for things we did not do wrong. We are called back to do things for those who are paid so high and they who are paid so high were no where to be seen. Our big boss always reward us with cohesion and mostly were held during weekends and its a must to attend. Is that a reward? I guess most of us wanna rest as much as we can get than waking up early and go for a dumb cohesion.

My simple mentality since primary school of helpfulness now finally slowly faded.... I came to think of it as if you don't work hard so why should you deserve my help? I started to think of why should I help u. I started to think of thats your job, not mine, why should I help you than I always think as there is a purpose. I also started to think of scolding everybody who did not do their job and let others bear the consequences. But... I am tired... too tired to sound out the pain of me and my fellow colleagues and for those who have left, the pain will still be there because the outside world are still as dark as there is no such place as Utopia. Utopia, a perfect whole where people love each other, help each other, care for each other and a place where there is no difference between status and where rich and poor are all happily leaving together.

Today I say all this in my blog, is all because I am tired. I am tired of work, relationship, making new friends, and most importantly I am tired of my life. Even the world seems to be coming to an end, people are dying, natural disaster increase, disease evolving. Countries help each other to save global warming. I would say, forget it... Its all because of greed, selfishness, betrayal and hypocrites and many more that created all this. Try linking those I've mentioned and you will know.... We, mankind created all this problem and we, mankind created extinction and worsened beauty and graciousness that never exists.