Never Be The Same Again

Received the news this morning. Saw her message after seeing Joel standing beside me talking on phone and he walked out. She just gave us her blog and the password and got to read it only when the sunrises and everything seems to slow down as it was already too late for us to even have one last chat.

My last conversation was her calling me to ask me where I place her SIM Card. Everything was perfect as per normal. I guess thats why people called this the calm before a storm.

For a life to build up and survive, it takes years and millions of dollars. But to end the effort, it takes just a despair and disappointment and 1 significant second.

She fell. This time she really fell or should i say jump? I guess i'm now in the same despair and disappointment but its just different from her. To just lose someone who seems ok 2 days ago, and to talk to her 2 days ago, watched movie with her just 2 days ago. I cannot believe that i will nv have the chance to do the same again. She said she want go fishing with me, Joel and Trevor but I guess there is no more chance. She told us she just need time to forget what have caused her this way and we are kind of relieve as she finally realise it. But everything is too late. Everything just happened like the speed of light. I still cannot believe it.

Tears fell today. And I will not forget today, May 22nd 2008. I am wrong. I am really wrong. Yes, i blame myself as I do not believe she will do it. She attempted once which me and joel saved her. I was wrong with all my fuck analysis. Now by thinking of it, it just pissed me off. Yes she did not jumped the second time she attempted, but its the police that got her down. Now the third, there is no one there, there is no one but the ex-bf, Vincent. I do not blame him as thats his decision. I can onli blame myself for not being really able to read the sign... for now, i cant complete this..

I will not forget .... Liew Yiling, we will be friends forever.